Reality!

Everytime I hear my husband sing for God's glory I am over come with emotion. It doesn't seem like all that long ago he won my heart by singing to me in the truck one night while driving to Bowling Green before we were even dating.....I melted, and I can still say I am melting after all these years. Though it is a different kind of melt, When I watch him stand and sing in front of a crowd of people and raise his hands praising God, I MELT! To see a man who has come from the bottom to the man he is today just warms my heart! Chad coould testify to you and when he was done talking you would be amazed that he is standing before the Lord doing what he is today. I could testify and you may ask me why I would stay in a marriage for 8 years when at times I was sure we had fallen to far gone for recovery. God knew, He knew exactly what he wanted to do with us. So when I sit in my car each morning and drive to work and wish to be in a far off town along a body of water watching my girls play worry free on the beach I quickly snap my self back into reality and Thank God for the many blessings he has already given to me and my family. Though I have to admit if he want to bless us with that reality to I would sure take it...lol! When I lay Tarryn down for bed at night and she cries and screams at the top of her lungs until I play Resurrection Bound on my phone and within minutes she has fallen asleep that gives me peace. Since she was about a month old that is all she has known. When I put my ear phones in my ear and listen to their new cd and I hear Peyton saying the Pledge that gives me joy, the kind of joy I never thought I could feel. I am not worthy of his great love but I am certainly glad that he has given it to me. I just pray that I do the right things in my life and that I can continue to raise my girls in good christian values!

Habtiat!

Meet Sahzija, Sahzija is a Habitat homeowner who came here from Bosnia about 15 years ago. Her husband died in the war over there and she was left with her special needs son to raise on her own. She had nothing but she knew she had to get out of Bosnia. She came to the states and ended up here in Bowling Green. She has worked VERY VERY hard the entire time she has been here and was well deserving of a Habitat House.....It's people like this beautiful woman who makes me LOVE my job! She is kind,loving,and appreciative. I love my job and each of the homeowners. Thank you God for giving me these moments to cherish forever!

Confusion

I have never been more confused about anything in my life than I am right now about Church, Jesus, America, Christianity etc. Now don't read into that statement, I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and I know without him in my life I would not be where I am today. He has given me everything I have. But I am confused, there are sooooo many questions that I ask and never get the full answer to them. I am confused on ALL OF IT! Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and say I give up. I guess maybe I am just not having the discussions with the right people. I am completely torn between all the different religious beliefs, ok maybe not torn but confused for sure! If we are suppose to love everyone then how come so many people pick and choose? I hate to hear when I talk to people about church and they say to me "well I don't go to church cause the people in the church looked down on me" Well in my eyes if you are a sinner or a lost person shouldn't you be welcomed into a church with open arms so that you will be comfortable to learn about God's forgiveness? It bothers me to know that churches are often ran like big businesses, the people who have been there the longest get away with making all the decisions and never taking in to consideration the people of the church, I hear about this often. If God has led somebody into the doors of a church we should make them feel welcome and keep in touch with them so that they do not fall away and so they want to come back to the church! I myself am guilty of not keeping in touch with people I know that need me. I lost my friend Tiffany a couple years ago and I still give myself a hard time about not staying in contact with her like I should have... and she needed me! We were able to communicate through emails and text messages the last year of her life but I should have done more, I should have went to see her...but I failed to do so. Oh another confusing note, (yea I know I am all over the place) I am confused by the whole mosque being built near the world trade center memorial. I am just confused as to why if we are Americans can we tell them they are not allowed to build a place of worship? Now dont start sending me hate mail yet, I understand how hurtful it must be for the families of those who perished in the 9/11, but in my own opinion these people who are wanting to build the mosque did not do this to them, yes other people with the same religious backgrounds did but these particular people did not! I dont know maybe I am just not looking at this from the perspective....again I am confused! From a religious stand point I do not agree with the beliefs that the muslim believe at all. What do you all think about this? Again I dont want hate mail I want "HELP" mail, LOL! I have been reading my Bible a lot hoping that it would help me figure out a lot of my confusions but it has just made me more confused....lol...I am at a place in my life where I want to know and I need to know for my sanity..lol..

I must say though I truly love God, I do not doubt his exsistence nor do I doubt what I know he can heal!