MERRY CHRISTMAS

Every year at this time I love remembering back to the days when I still lived at home and me and my brother Robbie would get ready to camp out in his bedroom and wait on Santa. We would lay there at night and talk about what Santa was going to bring us (well I would and he would tell me to hush so he could sleep) LOL...I loved the feeling I got at the pit of my stomach when I just knew I was hearing Santa's sleigh land on the roof. To this day I really think that maybe mom and Dale would go out side and throw stuff on the roof just so we would hear him that is how vividly I remember hearing the sleigh and bells..THIS IS WHY I STILL BELIEVE!! I love remembering that every year I would always have to go to the bathroom at about 2 or 3 in the morning. Despite the fact that Robbie threatened my life each year that if I went out side the bedroom and peeked in the living room he would KILL ME!! So every year I would have to wake him up and he would walk me to the bathroom with his hands over my eyes and then he would push me in the bathroom and wait outside the door for me to come out. Looking back at this now I know Robbie was probably scoping out the living room and looking at everything Santa brought us...When I would come out of the bathroom he would again cover my eyes and we would head back to the room and go to sleep (well he would I never did I was to excited)...I love remembering back to those days. I can not wait for Peyton and Tarryn to get to the age where they can do the same things and they will be able to have traditions they do every year. I love the thought of my girls snuggling up together and anxiously awaiting Santa's arrival.
This being Tarryn's first Christmas I know she will not remember it but I am SOOO excited for the morning to get here so we can celebrate as a family...

I hope that each of you have WONDERFUL childhood Christmas memories that you too will cherish forever...HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! REMEMBER THE REAL REASON WE ARE CELEBRATING!!

Family conversations !

Well Tarryn has been blessing our lives now for 18 days. She is such a GREAT baby. She eats about 4oz every 4 hours. Actually the last day or two she has been needing more so she has ate about 6oz a few times a day. She is a little piggy. She is growing like crazy. When I took her for her two week check up Monday she weighed 9lbs 2oz and was already 23 inches long. She is a growing girl. Not very many know this but Chad went for vasectomy today. I have ALWAYS known that he was going to be doing this after our second baby but I guess I am just a little saddened by it. The thought every never seeing or feeling the way I feel the moment that my baby is laid on my chest makes me sad. I know that I really do not want any more kids and after being so miserable during this pregnancy and then after the postpartum I feel I know that it is not a good idea for me to bring that upon myself time and time again. My hats off to the parents that can have more and more but that is just not for me. I will cherish the two that God gave me. I was lucky to get two out of Chad he always feared that he would never be able to love another one as much as he loves Peyton but I knew that would not be the case.
Peyton has asked a ton of question about "daddy's surgery" lol...so finally Chad was like ok Peyton Daddy had surgery so that we can not have anymore babies!! She said OHHHHH!!! and then got real quiet and said "but mommy has the babies"????? LOL...I quickly looked at Chad and said ok enough explaining....Then she started asking about breast feeding.....ONLY PEYTON...She asked me why I didnt breast feed Tarryn I said mommy just didn't want to. She said "did you breast feed me?" I said "I tried", she said "I didn't like it did I?" I said "No I don't guess so." then about ten minutes later after she had pondered our conversation she says "gross why would anybody want a boob in their mouth" OMG!!!! I nearly laughed out loud...I just shook my head and left it at that. I can not say anything else to her cause the conversation would just keep going and by the time we were done I would be in tears...lol..she never ceases to amaze me with her thoughts..

But then again after all that funny stuff Chad asked her what she liked most about christmas and she said "Celebrating Jesus' birthday" AMEN SISTER....THANK YOU GOD FOR YOU EVER LASTING LOVE!!!

Until Next time I hope you all have a WONDERFUL CHIRSTMAS!

Tarryn Rae Bridges.....

Well I am a little late on posting but I have just been trying to get back into a routine..It has been hard to do that. I have a long way to go before I am back to normal again.

Tarryn Rae Bridges was born on Decemeber 1, 2009 she weighed 8lbs 10oz and was 21.5 inches long. She came out screaming her little head off. I do not believe she was ready to make her debut yet



Peyton was sooooo excited and she is such a loving big sister. It was a very different week for her, she has never stayed all night with people not even her grandparents but maybe one night in her 6 years of life but she had to stay with her mammaw Fazel for like 3 days in a row and that was just a big change for her then she didnt want to leave her sister at the hospital so she would cry when she had to leave. Bless her heart it was just a lot to take in all at once..

I can not praise God enough for giving us yet another wonderful gift of life..Tarryn is perfect in every way. I just sit and stare at her, it's so hard to believe that I could grow something so absolutly amazing in my belly in just 9 months. I am blessed beyeond belief. It has been a lot to take in and I have been a bit overwhelmed at times I never realized how much of difference having two kids would be. I do not know how people can have a lot of kids and stay sane. lol... Dont' get me wrong I love my Peyton and Tarryn more than anything in this world but it is just different with two. Post partum is always the worse. I am not one of these superwomans who can give birth and never miss a beat. I go through ALL the emotions and night time seems to be worse. I am going to try to sleep in my bed tonight with Tarryn in the bassinet beside me she has not liked it to much but I have her asleep in it now so I am hoping being in my own bed will help me out. I know the hormones will be over soon and I will not always feel so blah but I just pray to God that I get back to normal soon...I will post again soon..

My Husband the charmer!!!

Chad and I were sitting in the living room last night watching the Bears play another depressing game and a very sweet commerical came on. This guy was standing outside in the snow in front of the window of the house and the woman was inside they were doing that whole googlie eye thing and he draws a heart in the fog on the window and then drops down a very pretty necklace out of his hand and it dangles down in front of him for her to see. She (of course) is all surprised and happy acting and I say to Chad "awwww how sweet that is" Now let me just make this sound better by saying that Chad use to be really sweet and romantic about hmmmmm huh 9 years ago when we were dating. Unfortunately he just doesn't get into it much anymore..lol...Which is fine I don't need all that mushy stuff. So the commercial goes off and I am about half asleep in the recliner when he says "Ashley" I look over at him and he hands me this piece of TOILET PAPER, YES THAT IS RIGHT I SAID TOILET PAPER....and on it he had drawn a heart on it and handed it to me....SERIOUSLY I JUST LAUGHED AT HIM AND then said thank you honey you have just given me something to write on my blog about...LOL!! What a charmer he is...I guess it was just a good thing it wasn't like used toilet paper...lol...
Regardless I still love him and I am so glad that I got a picture of it for you all to see.. ENJOY !!

we are all equal

I am struggling, I am struggling with people.Does that make sense? I have a VERY hard time dealing with people who pretend to people they are not. I have always been the person who stands up for what I believe in even when it got me into trouble, only because I would take it to far. I will always be the same person I am at home that I am at church, work, grocery store, etc. I'll just be honest with you if you stand outside my house and peek through my windows you will see me in my moo moo nighty (even if it's 3pm), you will probably hear Chad and I picking on each other about something, or you will hear the Karaoke machine on and Chad singing his heart out. And nine times out of ten if you peek through our window Peyton will be running around in some crazy dress up outfit with her high heels carrying around one of her many baby dolls. We are the normal typical family. We have over come MANY MANY hurdles in our 9 years together to get to where we are. We use to not have the faith of Jesus in our lives. We did what we wanted when we wanted it and we said what we wanted when we wanted which usually ended up in some pretty stupid arguments in front of Peyton when she was a baby. It took a long time for God to really sink into our lives and stay. And I will admit that some days it is VERY hard to keep faith. But I do (we do). We may get knocked down over the years and yes it hurts but we find a way to get up and carry on. If it means moving onto to better places then we shall do that. But we have learned that God will place us in all the right spots at the right time. He is never to early or never to late but he is always right on time. Sometimes I have to stop and slow down and realize this myself. I am not a person who likes to wait on things so this sometimes is my biggest down fall.

We are a family who has its daily struggles but we still put our pants on one leg at time like the rest of the world. God sees all things and sometimes in small towns I just have to overlook the people who think they can put their pants on both legs at a time (standing that is for all your smart butts..lol)

BABY UPDATE!

I went to the Dr. today I was dialated a whole "1" whooohooo..Can you sense my sarcasim? But really though that is better than nothing.This past week I had been having some pretty strong contractions when I was really active so I guess I just need to walk and walk and maybe that will be help her out. I can not wait to see her little face...I know with the first born its always so exciting and I have to admit it is jsut as exciting with the second one. I can't wait to see if she looks like Peyton did, I can't wait to see Peyton's face light up when she is helping us out and holding her sister, and most importantly I can not wait to watch them grow together as sisters. My sister and I are 8 years apart in age and when we were younger we were not very close. I lot of that had to do with parents divorcing and us moving 5 hours from each other. But once we both got to the age where we could travel and see one another then we have been BEST FRIENDS since. Not that I haven't always loved my sister it was just harder to be close to one another so far away. Now I wouldn't know what to do with out her. I can not wait to watch Peyton and Tarryn grow together. It will be so fun. I am REALLY REALLY excited about having time off from work...LOL..isn't that awful? I am just excited that it is falling around the holidays so if all goes well I will be home after Thanksgiving through the first two weeks of January. WHOOOOHOOOO...I can not wait!!! LOL...Plus I will be able to take Tarryn with me to work when I go back so that is going to help out TREMENDOUSLY....God has truly blessed us with wonderful things and I thank him for placing everything in the right spot for us!!! So now I go back every week my next appt is Nov.12th so I will update again then...

UNTIL NEXT TIME

Understanding....

I don't want to be the peace maker anymore. I am tired of Chad and I getting fingers pointed at us and things blamed on us when we have done nothing but try to keep peace. We are not young kids living together like we were 10 years ago. We are married, parents, and christians trying to live our lives for us and our children. We get up EVERY morning and work so we can provide for our family. That is how it will always be. We live in OUR own house, pay OUR own bills, and we do not need ANYBODY else raising our children they are OUR kids and we have the right to have them around the people we feel they can be around, and to NOT have them around the people that we do not feel they can be around. WE ARE THE PARENTS WE HAVE THAT RIGHT. I have never wanted to just say bye bye to anyone more in my life than I do now. That may sound awful but it's the truth. And to think if I was not trying to be the peace maker and give everyone the benefit of the doubt we would not be in this situation now. I should have just gone the rest of my life not caring if these people were in our life or not. I have never in all my life felt more sorry for my husband than I do now. I pray that God is truly in his heart and comforts him from the pain I know he feels but will not admit to. The sad thing is I know it's not over, it's an ongoing battle that is been fighting in his family for YEARS AND YEARS and no matter what I say or do to help it will not change who these people are. The part I hate the most is no matter how hard I try to not let Peyton get hurt by separating family members it is eventually going to happen. Maybe not today or next year or in 5 years but one day she will be hurt like we hurt over the people in her own family. I hate that she is sucked into this warp right a long with us and I pray that God keeps her heart strong from hurting as the years pass her by. I just have to come to terms with the fact that these are mental conditions that can not be changed or made better no matter how hard we try to make to these people understand.

I ask God to forgive me for the things I said that were out of line I let my mouth and emotions get carried away before I thought the right words out to say. Please God lead me in the right direction and show me the right way to handle things that clearly go against what I believe in...

Peyton is 6

Here is a my baby girl 6 years ago today, and here is my baby girl today .....MY MY MY...how time flies by. I miss holding her in my arms and kissing her sweet fat cheeks. I was so blessed with a perfect little girl and I still feel very very blessed at how perfect she is today. I LOVE YOU PEYTON LEEANN BRIDGES...YOU ARE MOMMY'S ANGEL ALWAYS!!

Future Miss.Kentucky

There is no way for me to even explain this photo..If you know my family well enough you know that we have MANY MANY photos (or home videos) from our childhood that have and will continue to stay around and haunt us FOREVER...Well this is one that my neice Bayleigh will just have to realize at a young age that it is going to haunt her FOREVER....LOL!!! I would normally not post some of these embarassing photos but since she is a child and will not be on here looking I think I am safe. I have one of my sister in a group family photo that I WOULD LOVE to post but I fear for my life when even mentioning it...LOL!!

NOW THE STORY BEHIND THE PICTURE: Miss Kentucky came to Bayleigh's school yesterday and she took pictures with all the students...She even as you notice let them wear the crown on their head...Well as you can see my beautiful little niece Bayleigh COULD HAVE CARED LESS about Miss Kentucky or about the stupid crown...Her face says it all. And how they caught her in this position at the PERFECT time is AMAZING...But by gosh I am so glad they did...I have laughed until I have cried over this picture...I just hope that my niece never hates me for posting this...she need not worry though because I am thinking that maybe I will start posting embarrassing pictures of EVERYBODY on my blog....LOL...FRIENDS AND FAMILY BEWARE....



UNTIL NEXT TIME

The Train ....

This may be weird to some....But I LOVE the sound of trains! Since I work across the rail road tracks I usually once or twice a week get caught by the train. This morning as I was coming back to my office from the post office I saw the rails going down at the train tracks ahead and unlike other people I got excited...lol...I love that relaxing 5 mintues (that feels like longer) to roll my window down and feel the beauty of the morning and the sound of the train whistle and then just hearing it go along the tracks. I know strange huh? I am sure all the people who live by the train track would shoot me for even thinking that it's soothing. I have never been like fascinated with trains or a collector of them but I LOVE that few minutes that I get to stop and listen to the pattern of the train race along the tracks. This morning I was listening to Jason Crabb's new c.d (as I do EVERY morning) and it was just so uplifting to hear his voice and the sound of the train and the cool wind blowing in my windows. Thank you God for giving me this day and every other day you have give me and will continue to give me.

PRAISE GOD!

I know that God is always in control...Peyton had the entire mole and area around the mole removed from the side of her foot a week ago and by God's amazing grace there was no mellanoma detected. I have never been so happy. I know that to some it may have been a mild thing but to me and my family it was a huge deal. I was not prepared to worry for the rest of my life about that one mole that changed the way we lived our lives. Now granted I am still going to go put lots of sunscreen on her during the summer and I will be watching her much closer since she is more prone to getting this in her moles. I just really thank God for ALL he has and will continue to do for my family..

Chad and I have come from living in a camper trailer with nothing to having great jobs, a wonderful family and two amazing daughters (one we will meet soon, though we know she will be amazing as well) and God's love which is most important. It took us A LONG time to realize just how great he was in our lives and I am so thankful that we BOTH have seen it first hand. Chad has gone through so much change (for the better) in the last 5 years that you wouldn't even believe me if I told you. He put his faith in God and allowed him to come into his life and we he did he had to let a lot of things go, things I really didn't think he could ever let go but he did and since then he has been a better man.

I can not wait until Tarryn gets here so we can start this next chapter in our life...I am excited and scared to death all at once, LOL....

Until Next time

Updates

About two weeks ago I decided to make an appt for Peyton to see a dermatologist about the bumps on her elbow. While I was there Chad reminded me to ask the Dr about the little mole or spot on the side of Peyton's foot. When I showed it to the Dr he asked me if it had grown or changed colors which it had, so they decided to cut it out then and send it off. I got a call from the Dr on Wednesday of last week telling me that they had sent the mole off to a Dr in Harvard and the results had come back that it was forming melanoma. So today I have to take her back to the Dr for them to cut a little more to make sure they got it all and then she will have to go for check ups every six months from here on out. He said had we left it on there it would have killed her in 5 years...then he tells me not to worry though...HUH OK!! She is now at very high risk for this to form in other moles. It's weird though because those of you who know her know that she has the best skin tone ever. She has never burnt while out in the sun or anything so therefore she has never wore sunscreen.....UNTIL NOW!! We will have to make sure she has that on now. It is really just scary to think that if I had never done anything about it what might have happened. I just thank God that we made an effort to have it looked at. Please just keep us in your prayers, I am sure everything will be fine and with the wonderful people we go to church with praying for us it helps tremendously.

On a better note I do not go back to the baby doctor until the 21st I will 34 weeks when I go....I CAN NOT WAIT TO MEET MY BABY GIRL!!! Everybody is having their babies and it just makes me so excited to meet Tarryn Rae.

I have a busy month this month, Chad will be singing at a revival this saturday night so that will be exciting I think he is nervous but I know as long as he continues to let God be in control he will be fine. I have dentist appt's next week and then the weekend of the 24th I will be having Peyton's tea party bday and then Sunday the 25th she will be getting baptized and then at 2 is my baby shower...SHEEEEWWWWW lots of stuff that weekend. But I am looking forward to it my family will be in and will be able to enjoy the weekend with us.

Until Next time

OUR SONG

It will be 9 years this October that Chad and I started dating! Hard to believe that time has passed by so quickly.I have told the wonderful love story of how we got together and how I always said I would marry him so I wont bore you with that story again. But as I was driving to work this morning I decided to start going through all the cd's in my case some have been in there since high school. I have a lot of mixed cd's that do not have a title on them so I always like popping those in and being surprised by what is on them. I put the first one in and as I listened to the songs I began to smile. It was the OLD Kenny Chesney cd that Chad and I listened to over and over again when we first started dating. I can still hear him changing the words around in some of the songs so it would say stuff that related to us. He was always doing that. But there is one song that I will NEVER forget and that is "You had me from hello" The first time I ever heard Chad sing this song my heart melted, and from then on it became "OUR" song. He sang this to me our wedding and several times since then but I have to admit it's been a while since I have heard him sing it so when I heard it this morning I got so happy... :) I of course think I have the greatest husband ever and I had to share this song with you. Maybe I can get Chad singing it and post it on here one day.. And I have to admit He really did have me from Hello if though I was 11 yrs old I new he was the one I would marry someday. And through all the years and his life in the Army, I was able to finally marry my best friend and we have been married for 7 wonderful never dull years!!!

I LOVE YOU CHAD!

REBORN!!

I really thought there would be no greater feeling than the feeling I felt the very first time I held Peyton in my arms! Last night I got to experience her be born again so to speak as she asked Jesus to come into her life and be saved!! She has been asking questions about this for a long time now and she has been telling me for a while that she wanted Jesus in heart forever. Chad and I would talk to her and ask her questions to make sure she knew what she was doing and that she wasn't just doing it because everyone else was. We talked to Bro. Gary about her several times and he told us a few things to ask her and say to her and so I have been prepared since then for her to ask me again. So last night during our WONDERFUL revival she looks up at me with her tear filled eyes and says "Mom I feel Jesus touching me!" We talked for a minute before I went to the altar with her and explained again and she said "MOM I KNOW I AM READY TO HAVE JESUS IN MY LIFE" So we went hand in hand an stepped into her NEW LIFE TOGETHER!!! I COULD NOT BE MORE PROUD OF HER THAN I AM RIGHT NOW!! She knew exactly what she was doing and she was ready to have Jesus in her life forever!

Life changing is almost not even enough to explain the way this Revival has taken over my life. Tonight will be night 24 of Belmont's revival and I can honestly say I have never felt anything so remarkable in my LIFE!! God is in Butler County and he is bringing people out to our church to be saved. I hope it NEVER ends. Chad has been singing a few songs a few different nights and the way God is working in his life is unbelievable. I can see Chad growing in GOD'S love EVERYDAY!! I could not ask for a better husband and daughter than Chad and Peyton I thank GOD for them everyday!!

I am also more than proud of my little brother Ryan, he has lots of wonderful things coming in his young adult life and I am so glad that we had the wonderful loving parents that we have raising us up in a good christian family. I am anxious to see what God has in store for him in his life.

On another note I will 29 weeks pregnant on the 17th....WOW!! I can not believe that it is moving along so fast...I almost want it to slow down so I can enjoy it a bit but with me being as miserable as I have been I am glad I am where I am in this pregnancy... :) I have been getting more and more excited with every kick and roll I feel. She is a very active baby now a days. I can't wait to see her beautiful little face...

Until Next time...Keep us in your prayers as God continues to work in our lives!

REMEMBERING 9/11/01

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news On September 11, 2001. Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.'

I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the Peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK..I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said. 'Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their Faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan . I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me.

Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.

Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take My hand.'

Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You may not know why, but I do. However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you. But someday your journey will end. And I will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are 'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

God



This was sent to me in an email and it really tugged at my heart. We have been having some great Revival at church and I am just so glad to know that I am saved and when it's time for me to go I will be in Heaven with all my family and friends who have been watching over me.

THANK YOU TO ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO RISK THEIR LIFE EVERYDAY TO KEEP US ALL SAFE!

The old Ford F150

There are just some things that are hard to let go of. I never thought that selling a truck would be so hard. When Chad got out of the army in 2000 he drove home in is 1998 Ford F150 that he had put a lot of money into. It was his pride and joy at the time. When he came back to Morgantown it was the only one like it in town. Once I realized that he was driving it I could pick him out of any traffic. The old Ford took him through many good and bad times in his army life and then once he came home he shared the truck with me when we started dating my senior year of high school. We drove that truck EVERYWHERE!!! We would fit as many people as we could in it just to go out to Bowling Green. I remember me, Chad and Deanna driving home from Bowling Green one day and when we got to the Butler county line he pulled over, got out and told me to drive. I had NEVER driven a stick shift before so I quickly started freaking out. Deanna of course was laughing her butt off. To many surprise I made it all the way into Morgantown and then that is where I left the biggest longest black marks that truck had ever made at a stop light. Not on purpose though I got scared and gunned it and that was the outcome..I think Chad was jealous that I left those black marks and he didn't...LOL.. But because of Chad and that truck I learned to drive a stick shift that day.

That truck moved us to Ashland KY, Crossville Illinois, Evansville Indiana, Huntington West Virgina, and back to Morgantown KY. It has picked up many hitch hikers a long the way. It drove us home from our wedding day, drove us to our honeymoon, and most importantly it drove Peyton home from the Cabell Huntington WV hospital when she was born.

I can remember hearing Chad sing for the first time while we were driving down the road in his truck. I still remember the song and where were going.

It holds so many memories to our relationship that it is almost crazy. When Cahd decided that he needed to sell it I was heart broken, We had talked about it many times before but just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. Then he put it on ebay and sold it.. I was broken hearted. I really didn't think it would affect me but as silly as it may sound I was saddened.

While Driving home from work a few weeks ago(the day Chad sold his truck) I can remember passing it on the Natcher parkway watching someone else driving it home. I called Chad immediately and told him that I just saw our truck and he laughed. It was strange to see something that had been with us our WHOLE relationship driving away.

Now we have to make many more memories without the Ford truck in our life. To bad Tarryn will never get to see daddy's truck!!! LOL...

Emotions!

So now that I am not so emotionally today I thought I would post about my crazy visit to the Doctor yesterday. Now keep in mind that I am already an emotional person anyway so on top of being pregnant does not help me out at all. When the doctor came into the room we talked for a few minutes about how I had been feeling then she pulls out the paperwork from my ultra sound and says "well everything looks great....except the brain area!!" HELLO, WHAT?? I was so stunned and in panic mode all the sudden that I didnt ask all the right answers. She said they were going to set me up for another ultrasound so they could get pictures of it. She also told me that they were not going to change my original due date of December 5th but the ultra sound read about 6 days earlier....!! Nice that puts it on mine and my sisters bday... SO anyway I leave and get in my car and call Chad and just started crying he kept asking me questions that I really didn't have any answers to. So I called my sister and explained it all to her and once she got me calmed down enough to listen she told me to call or go back up there and ask them the questions. Seeing as how my sister went through this five years ago with Bayleigh I was overly concerned anyway. So I finally calmed down and called back and asked her if there was something I needed to be concerned about, she said "Oh NO, honey we just didn't get any pictures of the brain area because the baby was to active and we need to get some pictures of it." ..........OMG!!!! why did she not jsut say it like that to begin with... Instead you send me into complete melt down and crazy mode over nothing!! I was a mess. I suddenly relaized exactly what my sister went through five years ago when there was something wrong with Bayleigh in the womb. Only they told her the baby wouldn't live outside the womb and it was in the 95th percential of being abnormal. But in reality when Bayleigh was born she was in perfect health....How can they get something like that soooo wrong... Now that Bayleigh is five there are some developmental issues that we are trying to figure out and she is going to the childrens hospital often for testing. But I have a beautiful, loving carefree 5 year old niece who they said would never live outside the womb...HELLO!!!

I am going to continue to pray for my baby to grow healthy for the next 18 weeks, I am also going to pray that God controls me in situations like that and allows me to calm down and ask questions before I get overly emotional...

What a day!!! I was so emotionally exhausted yesterday that I could hardly keep my eyes open.. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and Tarryn really started kicking and rolling last night about 9 pm. so I have a little night owl on my hands already!!!

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Tarryn Rhea Bridges, due December 5th 2009....The ultrasound looked great and she was a wiggle butt...She flashed us within the first minute or two of the ultrasound. I have never really felt a lot of moves until yesterday and she was letting me know that she was there and didn't like us poking around on her. Peyton was sooooo excited. Her and my mom went with me since Chad couldn't leave work. So when we got in the car she called her daddy and told him. I think he was a little dissapointed since this is going to be our last baby. It would have been nice to be able to teach a little boy all the father son things. But he is such a wonderful loving father to Peyton I know that this little girl is going to be wrapped around his finger in no time. God has truly blessed us in so many ways and I give him all the glory for everything...

I am not going to get started on finishing the room and getting the bedding and all that stuff done. I love this part. I got my first little girl outfits from my boss and hiw wife today. They were so cute. My boss of three years will be leaving me to go to Arizonia to be closer to his kids and new grandbaby which is Due in January. I am very sad but I know I would do the same thing if it were me. So now that just means he and his wife Lety will have to be extra nice to me until they leave because I have been giving them a hard time about leaving me...LOL!!

I hope everyone enjoys there weekend!!

Rambling Rambling Rambling!!!

I am that person who loves everyone for who they are not for what they look like or where they came from or the color of their skin. I have always for as long as I can remember been that person who will love you unconditionally, even if you hurt me I will forgive you and continue to love you unconditionally. I may not be the smartest person in the world, nor the most likey to make big bucks in my career but I really believe that my reward is seeing the changes that I can make in other peoples life. Everyday I go through struggles of my own that often hold me back from being that care free person that I know I am. I will just admit that I have been the black sheep of my family, it's not really a bad thing it's just the truth. I have always had different views on EVERYTHING compared to my mom, sister, and brothers. When I was younger I know that my mom struggled with me and my rebellious ways (yea that is right I said it) but for the most part I was always just fighting for what I knew was right. I was fighting for eqal opportunity. For the most part anyway, granted that wasn't all I got in trouble for during my school aged years but we will dust the other stuff under the rug for now. My mom never, and still to this day does not understand why I will not just keep my mouth shut when things don't go right and go with the flow. That is not me though, that may be how she handles her life and job and so on but as for me when I things are bing done incorrectly I am usually the first one to stand up and speak my mind about it. Now let me just stop there and say that sometimes I have spoken my mind on a whim and that has gotten me into trouble but of course not so much trouble that I couldn't get myself out of it. I struggled so much in High School because I had so much potential to change people's life but because of people knocking me down a long the way I choose the same path that several other people chose and did nothing during High School. I had everything I wanted in my teenage days but not everything I needed to keep me on the right path.

I wonder if at some point Jesus ever let the words of others affect him in a way where he choose the same road as everyone else? Or did he ALWAYS know he was the ONE?

I often play my life over and over in my head, why did I choose to quit basketball when I entered into High School?, Why did I date the stupid boy who turned my freshman year into a total madness, I could have done so much better? Why did I choose to get in the car with a drunk driver and risk my life? Why did I ride 4 wheelers like an idiot? Why did I befriend all the people that nobody else would?

I made a lot of stupid decisions in my life but I have to admit that they have made me the person that I am today. It is funny to me how age changes people. The things that I have done a million times as a teenager I would NEVER dare do know EVER...I am some what scared to ride on a 4 wheeler fast and if you know me very well then you know that I use to go places on 4wheelers that were just stupid. I am scared to drive fast, scared to say certain things. I am a believer that everything has a way of coming back to you. I do not want all that to come back to me in my children's life.

I guess I just needed to ramble on about nothing at all....

I guess I am just so thankful that I know God and that he lives strongly in my life. As a teen I didn't realize how important he would be in my life but God has been with me every step of my life and he knew where my life would end up regardless of all mistakes....He is a VERY forgiving GOD!!!

God is Great

This weekend has been GREAT!! The weather has been unbelievable and I have been so relaxed. I went to church today and since then I have just been thinking about how great the service was. I am completly amazed with the young people in our church. They have so much love for God and they are not ashamed to show it. They actually inspire me in so many ways. The feeling I get when I watch all of them on Sunday's is just overwhelming. I grew up in a great church all my life, and I have to say there was only one time in my youth that I can remember feeling the inspiration and excitement that they do, and that is when Pete Wilson was the youth leader at our church. I was a little young then but I was old enough to understand his sermons and I was inspired by him at a young age. He was young and he knew exactly what needed to be done and at all the right times. He moved onto starting another church in the community and that church grew almost overnight. It was amazing. He is now in Nashville TN preaching at a church there and I have been so excited to be able to listen to his sermons and his thoughts thru the internet. He is one of those guys who has that voice that you never forget and same goes for his lovely wife Brandie. I just wish that I would have had more time with someone like him when I got a little older.
I love God and I am so thankful that my parents raised me in good christian home I only wish that I could be younger again so I too can be as active as these kids are. I now just have to be active in a different way as an adult.

On another note I go Thursday for my ultrasound.....I can not wait I hate waiting. I will update everyone as soon I find out the sex of the baby!

We are never "Lost" we are just "Misplaced"

When Chad and I first started dating almost 10 years ago,(ouch that is hard to believe) he drove me to visit my sister and my dad in Ashland. We decided to do a little back road driving in the hills of W.V. and before long we found our self stopping at an old country store on a secluded road in the middle of the mountains of W.V. to find our way back... I can remember Chad saying "Huh, I hate to admit this but I need help" LOL!!! I was a little scared when we pulled into the parking lot where there was no cars or nobody around. He slowly walked into the store and in a matter of minutes he was walking out of the store, and to my surprise with a smile on his face. He got into the car and looked at me and said that his new saying is "You are never lost just Misplaced" He said that there was an old man in there (the owner of the old store) and When Chad told the man he was lost the man quickly corrected him and said "Son you are never lost just misplaced". We both thought that was a much better way to look at things, and we obviously made it back to my sisters house in one piece. After all these years have passed we have never really talked about that day until last night. We have been traveling all over Savannah GA and Chad quietly said "this is an easy town to get lost in" Even though we had a GPS it worried me for a moment and then he said "But Ashley remember, WE ARE NEVER LOST JUST MISPLACED" I smiled at him and we started talking our drive through W.V. that day almost 10 years ago...It is funny how somethings you just never forget.

We have had a great few days on this vacation. I have so far survived a boat road to see Dolphins,(that's right I said a boat ride aren't you proud of me?), swimming in the Ocean even though a baby shark was caught near were we swam, walking through a haunted Cemetery. And of course lots of other wonderful things... I love spending this time with Chad and Peyton and I know it will be a while before we are able to do this again. It will not be as easy with a baby.

Prayer

I am stressed....I am beyond stressed, I hate it when I think everything is going to turn out just the way I planned and then one thing comes and screws the whole plan up. I am to the point to where I just want to stop what I am doing stand up, walk out, get in my car and DRIVE!! I don't want the stress of life anymore and I just wish I would have done things differently a long time ago.. But it's nobody's fault but my own so I have nobody to point the finger at but meyself....Which doesn't make it any easier. I am mad at people for good reasons but I then again I understand them too... But then I have so many good points to fire back at them, that I know they will not hold a chance to my arguments. But then again, who am I? I can be replaced in a minute, and when I am gone I will be replaced in a minute. I am trying REALLY hard not to overreact and I am trying REALLY hard to give it all to GOD but I can't get passed my worries and hurt and anger to just give it to him. I would love to be that person that can just do that with out problem. There is a plan for me, There is a reason why things happen and now here we go again waiting to see the plan that I soooo hate waiting on. I am tired of waiting on these things to happen.

Please pray for me and my family that the next several months will work out for the best and that God will provide for us in the areas we need help in... Please pray that I can overcome my emotions and be the good christian person that I know I am....

Happy Anniversary to Us

Yesterday Chad and I celebrated 7 wonderful years of marriage....Though we didn't do anything special I still found myself looking at him and smiling like I did when we dated...I love him more than words could say. If not for his hard work and love for our family we could have very well turned down some dark roads. I can still remember the day we got married and everything that took place. It was a simple ceremony that was just perfect for us and if I could do it all over again (with him) I would not change a thing. In 7 years we have seen some pretty amazing things and we have grown in God's love which is the most important. We have a beautiful little girl who amazes us everyday. I can not wait to find out what this next baby is going to be. We leave Saturday to start our Vacation, we will be stopping at the incline railroad, rock city, and ruby falls and then on to Tibee Island GA. I think we are gonna have a great time. I am ready to spend sometime away from everyone... No offense everyone...lol...

Where has the time gone?

Where has my precious little baby girl gone? Don't get me wrong she is still here and I still love her more than ever but she is growing up. I can not even lift her anymore. When I come home from work I tell her I need love and she crawls in my lap and I hold her and think about how many times I have held her in my arms and kissed her chubby cheeks.I am just sadden at the thought of my baby starting school. I already miss her. I never in a million years dreamed that I would have so much joy and love in my heart for someone until she arrived. God has blessed us everyday, year after year with a wonderful healthy little girl who lights up the room when she is in it. Though I never know what she is going to say I try hard to except that, that is just who she is. She is a lot like me, very emotional (not such a good thing)
she loves everyone, out spoken, and is always willing to help. She is a lot like her daddy when it comes to singing, and telling me that she does not like babies..LOL...to bad for her huh...LOL!! She is always asking questions and then really thinks about the answers we give her, which is why we have to be careful because even though she is 5 she will use our own answers against us. (another trait of her fathers) the little girl who once has long blonde curly hair now is a short brown haired little girl who thinks she can do EVERYTHING!! And for the most part I let her think that, I mean what is wrong with having those goals... I just thought I would share these pictures of her over the last 5 years.... She has changed quiet a bit though in all of them she looks just like her daddy!!!

And of course I wont forget me, here is a picture of me. (taken today) I am 15 weeks pregnant and I look like I could give birth at any minute...I mean really who is ever this big at 15 weeks pregnant...What was I thinking???? LOL!!!!

Judging

Although Peyton brings me more joy than anything I could have ever hoped for in my life, there are 5 other little ones who give me joy that is right up there with that. Sadly I do not get to see my nieces and nephews as often as I would like. But they are always in my heart. The other day I met Miranda, my mom and Braxtan at McDonald's in BG (after Braxtan's big accident)I had gotten this big dinosaur thing a long time ago for Tristan but I have not been to see him since I got it. I didn't want to send it to him via my mom or Ryan because I wanted to of course get the credit for getting it for him..The look on his face when I came walking in with that thing was priceless, He smiled real big and we pushed the buttons and made it roar and then Tristan would roar. It was great I love getting him stuff like that. He is at the right age to spoil rotten. Of course Braxtan just looked at it like it was a huge monster...lol..
I wish that my sister lived closer to me so that I could wrap my arms around Bayleigh everyday and her and Peyton could play there little hearts out. Since she has been old enough to crawl everytime she saw me her little eyes just light up and she has always reached her arms out to me. Now that she is older she runs full force and jumps into my arms usually after a lot of playing with Peyton she will crawl up into my lap and just snuggle me. She gives the greatest kisses, and hugs that a niece could possible give her aunt. No matter what I am wearing or how my hair looks or how fat I may look Bayleigh only sees me!! I know that she see's the joy I have for her and I know that she see the love that I have for her. My sister has struggled over the last few years with her since there has been some significant delays in her development. She has been in and out of specialist and Dr's most of her life. Now at almost 5 years old she will go on June 23rd to the children's hospital to confirm what her family doctor has finally chosen to admit that Bayleigh is autistic. There are so many different forms of autism and I know that Bayleigh is a lot different than some kids who never communicate or anything. I had never known a lot about autism until Krista called me to tell me of this new diagnosis. I have done a lot of research and found that it felt like they were sitting in the house watching Bayleigh's every move and documenting it for all to see. She had SO many characteristics of autism that it was amazing... I know this was a very scary thing for my sister to hear about her baby, but in some ways it was a relief. All the years of struggling and fighting for her at daycares and headstart was over with. Now she had something to go from and move forward with getting the right kind of aides to help Bayleigh be able to learn like everyone else.

I know so many people judge other people by the way they look or by how smart they are or are not, or by how big or small. I can't help but think about Bayleigh a precious little girl who struggles everyday to communicate with the other kids at her daycare or to communicate with the teachers who so often get frustrated at her and think it is so much easier to call my sister and tell her that Bayleigh is sick rather than help her to communicate and learn. But I also think back at how EVERYTIME she sees me no matter how I look or act or smell for that matter, she is always there with her arms open wide waiting for me to scoop her up into my arms and love her and hug her. If only the rest of the world could see through the eyes of an autistic child maybe we would all take into consideration the trials that they face on a daily basis. Sometime we as adults judge people to often and we look past the person that God created and only judge what we see on the inside. God created us all differently and one day he will be waiting for us with his arms opend wide and with out judging us on our apperance he will gladly except us into Heaven for us to dwell in the house of the Lord forever. We must not judge people so quickly because you never know what joy they will bring you when you look a little deeper.

I know that God does not give you anything more than you can handle and although at times my sister thinks she can handle no more God pulls her back and sits her back up and tells her to keep on loving and caring for Bayleigh as she has done for nearly 5 years. God has a plan for Bayleigh and when he has a plan, what could possibly go wrong?

I love all my nieces and nephews I mean look at those pictures, how could you not love those kids... They are GREAT!!!

PEYTON MADE THE TOP 5 !!

www.kingdomtwindom.blogspot.com


YAY!!!! Peyton is a finalist....Go check out her performance of Miley Cyrus "The Climb" and vote for her. I of course think she did a great job...And I called Chad and told him he got beat out by his daughter....HA HA HA HA!! We all already know he is talented so now it's just time to give Peyton the spotlight for a second.... LOL!! YOU GO PEYTON!!!

The Blogosphere's Got Talent

So I just ran across this visiting Brandie Wilson's blog this morning so I thought I would put Chad and Peyton in it. I mean why not right? LOL... Spread the word!



here are the two videos I sent into them....LOL...I am a proud momma and wife..LOL!!

Learning from the Past

I am sure I have posted this video before but there is a lot about this video that makes me so proud of my family past and present. It is so good to know that my family even from way back when put there trust in God. And because they choose to do that it has been a cycle that has not been broken in my family. Though I only have a few memories of my great grandparents they are all good ones. I am sure I ever heard my nanny ruth say a negative word to anybody. She was a very little petite woman who would rock in her squeaky rocking chair in the living room. Now that rocking chair sits at my moms house and when I sit in it, at times I feel like I am in a time machine. I can still see the house and I can smell the wood burning stove. I can see the HUGE register in the floor that would get extremely hot in the winter. I can remember her pink tiled bathroom that had a phone in it, I was always amazed by that as a kid. But the sad part is that is the only really clear memory I have of all my my cousins and us being together. I can remember having meals at their house and everyone being there. I can still taste her chicken and dumplings.

I really do learn a lot from the past. I learn that God will travel with you through generation after generation and he will never leave your side. You may lose family and friends along the way but God will be there to get you through it all. He will never leave your side and he will be your provider...

That is what gives me hope in knowing that:

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. Psalm 23:6

P.S. ~ I forgot to mention that this video is being narrated by my mom and these photos are ove my great grandparents and grandparents. JUST FYI!!! I love this video!

Busy week

We have had a very busy week this week. On Saturday we went to Holiday world it was a very fun day and we were all wore out by the time we got home but we had a great time. Sunday was church and then we went to Bowling Green to shop for me some good ole maternity clothes. I did find a few things so I am glad for that. I am not looking forward to wearing these clothes for the next 6 months though. YUCK!! Monday we relaxed at the house all day and then went to moms for dinner. It was fun to hang out and peyton loves playin with her pawpaw. Tuesday I had to run the restore all day so it was a long day for me I didn't get home until about 6 that night.Yesterday was Peyton's playschool gradutation and she had a great time with that. I am posting pics of it. Last night we went to church and was there from 4:30 to 8:30 practicing for Peyton's play on and then eating and watching all the kids get there certificates from their class. I was wore out when I got home last night. I just crashed. Today Peyton has one of her old friends from her old daycare at her new daycare and she was thrilled to have another girl there her age to play with. Tonight we have out first tball practice and that should be fun. It is from 5:00 to 6:00 so that wont be to bad. Then Thank goodness for Friday tomorrow... I am ready to just veg out on the couch...LOL!!

I have lots of pics to post but I am just going to take a few and post them so I don't have a big long post... Hope all of you have a good week and weekend!!

Just updating

I went to the dr. yesterday and if any of you have had kids then you know that the dr's visits are not always fun. To me the only one's that are fun are the one's wher you get ultra sound pics. LOL... But that is just part of the process..Going every month to the dr is just something I have to get use to again. I got to hear the heart beat so that was really cool..I had forgotten how cool it was to hear that for the first time. I still can not believe that I have a life growing inside me. It was so weird the first time and then now this time it's like wow I just can't wait to see if this is going to be anything like when I was pregnant with Peyton. Even though already it has not been. I was never sick with Peyton and this one I have been sick and just completly drained. He said that with my ultra sound pics I was about three days earlier than they first said, but he didn't change my due date so I am still set for December 5th. Chad was a little concerned because my birthday and my sister's birthday is November 30th so he told me I had to hold it in...LOL...I thought about smacking him :) It is going to be close though.

We are suppose to go to Holiday world Saturday I won tickets on the Beaver last week so we are going to take advantage of the tickets. It should be fun even if I am just going to be standing around. LOL...Peyton will have a GREAT time.. Sunday we will be at church and I may go shoppin around for some maternity clothes. I am off Monday so I am just going to enjoy my long weekend. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

A few thoughts...

We baked cupcakes last week...And as you can see from the pictures Peyton only ate the batter...lol! Since we have been on diets for so long we have not made sweets in our house so Peyton was in heaven...lol.. I made 30 cupcakes for work picnic and they were delicious!!! Not a lot has been going on lately. Chad started his new job last week so that has been going well. He has been busy and a bit crazy all at once. go to the dr. this Thursday I will be almost 12 weeks pregnant when I go...I feel like it is creeping by, but I guess that is okay. It's my last one so I am trying to enjoy it. Even though I have been sick. I never was sick with Peyton so I now know how that feels...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!! I will post more later. I really just haven't been in the mood to sit down and type here lately! I am trying to be better though! Peyton starts tball next week I am so excited I think she is going to have a great time. Here is hoping anyways!

Does Anybody Hear Her!

I have to admit that I had never watched the video to this song until today. I was sitting at my desk this morning and wanted to hear some Casting crowns so I got on youtube and just started listening to different songs. This was always one of my favorite songs. I knew what they were singing about but I don't think I ever REALLY knew some of the things they were singing about. Can anybody hear her. I really believe that as Christian people a lot of us (including myself) steer away from helping others who look like they are need for lack of not knowing what to say. I have learned over the last few months that it is a lot easier to talk to someone about God if you just allow yourself to let God lead you through. Working with Habitat I have heard a lot of crazy, sad, disturbing stories. I often just sit back and listen. But the other day I looked at the woman who was telling me her whole life story and I just simply asked her if she was attending church. When she responded with a simple No, I told her that once God was top priority in her life then all the other things that she was struggle with would fall into place. She looked at me with tear filled eyes and said "Yes, you are right" Enough said after that. That is all it took for that woman to know that she was deserving of God's love. I gave her my card and she left. Though I have not seen her since I can only hope that the simple words that i said to her that day will guide her into a church, and that the people in the church will not look at her and turn away but will welcome her with arms wide open!! It only takes a few seconds to share God's love with someone. Do you know somebody who is running in the wrong direction?

What a BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND!!

What a BEAUTIFUL weekend.... I was determined to spend all weekend outside and for the most part of it I did. On Saturday we went to a cookout for James Elmore, he was diagnosed with throat cancer a few months back and though they are still trying different things on him they are telling him 9 months. It is crazy to me how cancer can hit you so quickly and take over your body. I pray for him and his family I know they are all praying for the best. When we left there we went home and decided to go to my moms and go fishing for a little while. I actually caught 2 fish so I was proud of myself. Then chad had a really big one on his pole but when I was trying to reel it in the 20 pound test line broke so it was gone before I could see what it was. Whatever it was, was big. Then we went home again and drove to Muhlenburg county and went to a few different places there and then came on home. Sunday we went to church and what a wonderful service. Sometimes we are not even able to get to the preaching for God runs the show and however he chooses the service to go is how it goes. It was a WONDERFUL service. We decided since it was so pretty we would go to Mammoth cave and eat and then hike. Boy was that fun...I just never realized how hot it was going to be but I felt like it was July out there. THAT TRAIL KICKED MY BUTT!! But it was enjoyable and I needed to walk a little anyway. We got home just in time to meet up with all the people going to the youth detention center for worship and what an amazing event that was. Bro Woody Moore sure does know how to preach it to those young people. He did a great job. Chad and Angie did a few songs and that was great too we had several young people stand up to get prayer and a few that got saved. Some of the stories in their life would just amaze you. When you think that you have or had it rough go to one of these services and hear about what some of these young people are facing everyday... I just pray that God wraps his arms around them all and that they walk with him forever...
When we got home last night I ate some fruit but startedto feel really sick so I just laid there really still and telling myself not to puke...LOL... I am still not feeling the greatest this morning but I know it is all for a good reason... I keep trying to tell myself that. I am posting a few pictures from our hike thought you may enjoy!! I hope you all have a wonderful week!!

BABY BRIDGES # 2

Here is the first picture of our precious little baby. I know you can't really tell much. But if you are a parent you know how exciting it is to know that a little one is growing inside of you. I had forgotten how exciting it was to see that on the monitor and to see the hearbeat. It was WAY cool...I love this little one so much and I can't wait..Even though I have a LONG way to go..

Easter 2009

We had a wonderful Easter weekend. We were very busy with going to church for the Easter cantata. I have to admit that out of all the years we have been attending Belmont I had never seen it, so I was VERY VERY Happy at the GREAT job that EVERYONE did..I mean for people who NEVER have acted before in their life to be able to do such an amazing job not just once but three times in a row (and for the last 19 years) is just a BLESSING..I could have watched a hundred more times and it would have never gotten old. And to see the people getting saved was just AMAZING!! One of those being Chad's little siset Niki. She will be 13 this weekend so this was a hard step for her to take and I am VERY VERY proud of the young lady she is becoming everyday and trust me at 13 she hasn't always had it so easy..God will continue to do wonderful things in our life.
Peyton got a visit from the Easter bunny and got lots of goodies she was so happy, especially since I told that we were gonna have to let Koty (our german shepherd) after the Easter bunny since she wouldn't go to sleep...LOL...that is awful isn't it. But my biggest fear every year is that I will fall asleep on christmas and Easter and not wake up in time to put out all the stuff...I am truly NOT gifted in this secretive area like my parents were. I swear to this day even though I have to leave stuff out I still wake up on Christmas morning just waiting to see what Santa has brought...Much to my surprise it is usually NOTHING since I AM HIM!!! LOL..Oh well I still like feeling like a kid again.. It is so much fun...
I have really gone off topic here.......SHEEEEWWWW!!!

I am posting a few pictures from our weekend I hope that each of you had a wonderful
WEEKEND!!

I have peace

As I listened to Bro Gary preach this morning I had one of those relieving moments. You know the ones, when you hear the truth and you just feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. I have feared death for so many years that I have not been living my life to the fullest. We are all here on this earth for a time then when our so called "number" is up it is our time to go. I have a VERY hard time dealing with the death of loved ones, it is not something that I have EVER been able to coupe with very well. And for me it's not that I just hurt for the few days during the wake and the funeral I hurt for weeks,months, and years..I often find myself in prayer asking God "why" as I am sure he gets that question a lot. But we will NEVER know why. I can remember when Eric died I would just wait for his name to come up on my cell phone "just one more time" that is all I wanted was for him to know exactly how much he meant to me. When Tiffany passed away I wanted just "ONE" more day. I wanted and still want to just take back all the cancellations of plans and I wanted to hear her calming voice, I want just one more email to finish our long in depth talks. But I can't I can not have ANY of that back...I can only wait until the day that I walk the streets of Gold to see them standing at the end waiting for me. Why would I be so scared all these years to have that waiting for me? I will be in a place of no more heart ache or pain and I will be with the one and only!!! That gives me peace in my heart!! I have to stop holding back in my life for fear of dying and I need to proceed with what God has for me here and continue to live my life for him. I never really understood the whole process until today. Like Bro Gary said I am scared of Cancer, and all the horrible things that get put upon us but I have peace in my heart in knowing that God is waiting for me a long with my many friends who watch me each day.

When I was going home from work on Thursday I got stopped by the funeral procession of Dustin Belcher and I just stopped turned off the radio turned off my cell phone and rolled my window down and prayed to God that Amy and the girls and Josh and Jonnica, Lloyd and Melissa and the rest of the family would make it through this horrible tragedy. The quietness in the air (in the middle of the town) was calming. Though I did not have a close relationship with Dustin personally I knew him in school and I know that he always knew how to keep us all laughing. And I have known Amy for a while and have always just loved her she is so sweet and I pray that she finds comfort in the days to come. I will continue to remember them all in my prayers. It is definitely going to be a long road ahead.

I am glad that Bro Gary preached this today I needed to hear it and I needed comfort in knowing that I will be okay, That no matter what God will always be there for me with his arms open wide. Thank you Bro Gary for a wonderful sermon today and every Sunday!!

LOOKING BACK!

This morning I got onto my myspace to check my messages like I do every morning. But this morning when I logged on I was caught off guard by something I see everyday. I am not for sure why I noticed it today so much more than in the past but I did. My niece who is only 12 years old is an almost identical version of my when I was her age. Except I have to admit at 12 I was no where near as girly as she is. I started looking through her pictures on her myspace page and was just blown away at the thought that this little girl that i use to hold on my lap and hug every chance I got is now growning up into a beautiful young lady. Not only that, she is very smart and over all a good kid. I often wish that I could see my nieces and nephews on a daily basis but in this crazy real world life we all have to live I am unable to that. So everytime she posts pictures up on her myspace a piece of my heart breaks at the sight of this beautiful girl who is growing up right before our very eyes. I think about how fast time has passed to get us to this point, I can only imagine how quick the time is going to pass until I am sitting at her High School graduation. I am very very proud of they beautiful young lady she has become and I hope that she continues her teenage life to work hard. I LOVE YOU LINDSAY LOU!!

What do you all think? Do you think we look alike? :~)

THE DOLLHOUSE!!!

Isn't it BEAUTIFUL!!! I have been working my butt of the las two days to get it all finished.. If you notice there are still some shingles that need to be put on the tower roof, we ran out of glue so Chad is going to finish that up tomorrow. But I was ready to show everyone how cute it looks. Now some of you will remember the before pictures (if not then just look back thru my posts) I was really concerned that I would NEVER complete this. But after a while guilt started to set in that she was not getting to play with this doll house. So I have been really working to get this done. She has to now get wallpaper if she wants...funny huh? and she needs to put in all her furniture. All the detail you see is done piece by piece...The shutters had to be hand painted and glued together and all those pretty decorative pieces had to be painted too and glued on. along with the window frames and the door and all the railings....I am just SOOO glad it's over...LOL...Peyton is very excited to start playing with it too.. I hope you all enjoy seeing the finished product.. Chad asked me if I was going to do another one if we had another girl, I told him that this will be passed down to our childrens, childrens children...lol...never again will I do this sort of project...It will be in our family for YEARS TO COME..lol...

I have been reading up on pregnancy on the internet because that is what women do when they get pregnant...lol..and it said that if you have already had one kid then odds are you will start showing at about 12 weeks...I alomst fell out of chair...I am not ready for all that business...LOL..Did anybody else who has had two or more kids show earlier the second time? I am not going to complain I am just simply going to enjoy it because it is my last... I can not wait for all the wonderful adventures ahead of us... SOOO exciting..

I have been thinking about Amy and the girls all day..I just pray that God eases their pain. I will continue to keep them in my prayers. Also I wanted to let Jonnica and Josh know that I am thinking and praying for them as well.