I have never been more confused about anything in my life than I am right now about Church, Jesus, America, Christianity etc. Now don't read into that statement, I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and I know without him in my life I would not be where I am today. He has given me everything I have. But I am confused, there are sooooo many questions that I ask and never get the full answer to them. I am confused on ALL OF IT! Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and say I give up. I guess maybe I am just not having the discussions with the right people. I am completely torn between all the different religious beliefs, ok maybe not torn but confused for sure! If we are suppose to love everyone then how come so many people pick and choose? I hate to hear when I talk to people about church and they say to me "well I don't go to church cause the people in the church looked down on me" Well in my eyes if you are a sinner or a lost person shouldn't you be welcomed into a church with open arms so that you will be comfortable to learn about God's forgiveness? It bothers me to know that churches are often ran like big businesses, the people who have been there the longest get away with making all the decisions and never taking in to consideration the people of the church, I hear about this often. If God has led somebody into the doors of a church we should make them feel welcome and keep in touch with them so that they do not fall away and so they want to come back to the church! I myself am guilty of not keeping in touch with people I know that need me. I lost my friend Tiffany a couple years ago and I still give myself a hard time about not staying in contact with her like I should have... and she needed me! We were able to communicate through emails and text messages the last year of her life but I should have done more, I should have went to see her...but I failed to do so. Oh another confusing note, (yea I know I am all over the place) I am confused by the whole mosque being built near the world trade center memorial. I am just confused as to why if we are Americans can we tell them they are not allowed to build a place of worship? Now dont start sending me hate mail yet, I understand how hurtful it must be for the families of those who perished in the 9/11, but in my own opinion these people who are wanting to build the mosque did not do this to them, yes other people with the same religious backgrounds did but these particular people did not! I dont know maybe I am just not looking at this from the perspective....again I am confused! From a religious stand point I do not agree with the beliefs that the muslim believe at all. What do you all think about this? Again I dont want hate mail I want "HELP" mail, LOL! I have been reading my Bible a lot hoping that it would help me figure out a lot of my confusions but it has just made me more confused....lol...I am at a place in my life where I want to know and I need to know for my sanity..lol..
I must say though I truly love God, I do not doubt his exsistence nor do I doubt what I know he can heal!
3 comments:
God bless you woman for having the courage to say you're confused! It's not easy and I dare say at some point and time every believer or non-believer has asked theirselves all kinds of questions. One thing I do know and have come at peace with is I will NEVER have all the answers. I don't think we're supposed to. (But I will have some questions in Heaven!) Yes we need to to study and try and gain wisdom and knowledge but how can we even begin to understand things that are on God's level. In the book of Job, Job is asking God some tough questions that he's wanting answers to. God's answer to him in chapter 38 and 39 is astounding. When I studied that I GOT it. And I've not even come close to going through the trials of Job. I can only imagine the questions that man had! His ways are higher than ours. We can't understand it and when we do gain understanding of something it can only be because He allowed us to.
I 100% agree about people needing to welcome others into the church. There are far too many churches who have people sitting on pews that have forgot what they were before Christ came into their lives. Church is routine for some people and they just go through the motions because that's what their Papaw or Momma or whoever did! There is not one person any better than the other and man am I a good one to be telling you this right now because i've been struggling myself! We're supposed to rejoice and be glad when new people come to church and welcome them. Not say, "Well I can't believe so and so is here, or I doubt if they're really saved". How tragic for us to do that to others! Salvation can only be determined by the individual and God Himself! If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard, "Those people at church are no better than I am and some of them are out doing the same things I'm doing or worse and if they're going to Heaven then I'll be alright too!" The ONLY way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ. None of us deserve it and none of us are going to get into Heaven because of our great deeds. Truth is apart from Christ there is NOTHING good about us. Our best is like filthy rags. It would do every Christian some good to remember when they got saved and remember what it was like coming to God with NOTHING to offer Him. Salvation is a free gift from God. We didn't do anything to get it. It's not about what we did, but ALL about what HE did!
As for losing Tiffany it may be too late there, but maybe God is using that situation for a reason for you to learn a lesson on keeping in touch more with friends and the ones you love. I need to be better at this myself because tomorrow isn't promised to any of us! I don't have all the answers either Ashley just advice and I know how it is to need to vent! I've wrote a book here just venting to you! LOL
And as for the Mosque, freedom of religion is fine but don't put it where so many lost their lives because of Muslims. And yeah, they were probably extremists, but I can't imagine being one of those family members that lost family on 9\11 and seeing that there. To me it wouldn't be any different than the Nazis setting up a Hitler Memorial beside the Holocaust Museum.
Keep your head up Ashley! Keep reading Gods word and praying for peace and understanding and I'll be praying for you too that you get just that! Hope you're not more confused than before you read this! LOL
Thanks Jennifer, You have no idea how much your words mean. I was praying for no hate mail!! LOL...and I agree I will never know it all when it comes to the Bible but I struggle to know more than I do. I often feel really stupid when trying to express my words through biblical scripture...which is really my own fault for not getting with people who know the Bible good and have Bible study...but again I have pulled myself away from that with people for fear of "not fitting in" so to speak...I am amazed at how far I have come in Christ and I can only pray I go further and further through him.. thanks for the words of wisdom, everything you have typed here has opened up a new light bulb in my head which is exactly what I wanted!
I know exactly how you feel, Ashley. Sometimes I feel more confused and unsure after studying, but ya know what? I decided along time ago that it was normal. If we understood everything, why would continue studying? It causes us to look deeper into His Word and ourselves. One day, I will be sitting at the His feet and I'll get to say, "Hey, Jesus, remember that time...?" And then He'll answer me and it'll all make sense.
Until then, I'll live my life for Him and do the best that I can to be a witness for Him. It's all we can do.
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