One Letter

It's been almost 10 years since my mom wrote this to me to be published in my senior yearbook. After 10 years it still brings tears to my eyes. I am still very amazed at how "right on" she was. I mean I know she is my mother and she should know everything about me but at 17 years old when this was wrote I would have bet you a hundred dollars she knew nothing about me, but in all reality she knew more about me than I knew about me. I have gone down some very dark roads in my 10 years since this letter was wrote, not because I had to, but because I chose to. Every time I moved from house to house this letter has traveled safely with me, and every time I have unpacked my bags this letter has crossed my path and given me the strength I needed to make it to the next day. I am pretty sure that my mom never in a million years would have thought this letter would have impacted me into my adult years like it has, but there is something about each line that describes me to a "T", it's the simple sweet way she wrote it that makes it so special. After all the stuff I put my mother threw growing up I would have thought all she would have wanted to say to me was "SEE YA". I can only hope that when my girls get older I can have the same impact on them that my mother had on me in my life. Though we butted heads more times than not, I heard EVERY word she every screamed at me (lol) and I can promise you she had a lot of times to scream at me. I have apologized to her over the years but it still doesn't make what's done go away. Thank you mom for your christian values and your loving heart. It is because of you, I am the mother, wife and christian woman I am today.

The "Claus"

To some people it is just a simple ceramic Mr. & Mrs. Claus....To me it is my entire childhood memories all wrapped into one! Every year for as far back as I can remember my mother has displayed the ceramic Mr. & Mrs. Claus every year at Christmas. When I was young I can remember prentending they were alive and pretending they would walk and even do the famous "HO HO HO", I loved them, when those were put out every year it was just one more thing to remind us that Christmas was close. Of course as I teenager I could have caredless about those silly ceramic statues that sat near the fire place, I am not quiet sure at what age I stopped picking them up and pretending with them, but I always knew they were there. They were kind of like my star on top of the tree, if they were missing I would have known. Last year at Christmas my mom decided to play a little game. She sat us all down and read us this VERY sentimental letter she wrote about the history of the "Claus'" she decided to make them the traveling "Claus'" she decided to draw names as to who's house it would go to first, and of course it went to Rob and Miranda's (hence the reason I say he is her favorite lol) I had kind of forgotten about them until about 2 weeks or so before Christmas. The idea of the game is to pass them on the other siblings each year at Christmas so that "our" kids can enjoy them like we did. I must say that I was REALLY nice to Miranda ALL year cause I REALLY wanted the Claus' next...lol...At our annual Christmas get together, Miranda and Rob had already been scheming a great plan ALL YEAR
..Krista and I had to answer "history" lessons about the "Claus'" whoever got the most right was to get them for the year.

Krista was jumping for joy (LITERALLY)when she won the questions and of course I was devastated.
When she un wrapped them and pulled them out I knew smething was different. Mr. Claus looked newer and his hands looked different.
Miranda found an (almost identical) Mr. Claus at the flea market, he was an imposter. I immediately said "WAIT, something is not right, that is not the same one... Miranda then took both of them from my sisters arms....(I am pretty sure there was a tear in her eye, and an evil laugh coming from Miranda)
and gently handed them to me, She said, You are right, there is an imposter! In walks Robbie with the REAL Mr. Claus! Because I noticed that they were different I was able to WIN them back from Krista
....MUUUAAAAAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAA!!! Krista was able to take home the imposted Santa,
but we all know it will probably never be seen again, truth be known it's probably already broken! :) Mr. and Mrs. Claus are being displayed with love ontop of my China cabinet.
I can not wait to enjoy my year with Mr. & Mrs. Claus at the Bridges home. Though Chad is about to die cause I will have a piece of Christmas out all year, I guess I am trying to soften him up a bit. I am sure it wont work...Please stay tuned through out the year for Mr. & Mrs. Claus' sightings.. :)

~Until Next Time~

IT'S BEGINING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS!

So maybe to some people it is to early but to me it is right on time...If Chad would let me I would have my tree up already..I snapped a few pictures of the girls with there Christmas dresses on the other day, I was trying to practice on what to do for Christmas pictures. I am still not crazy in love with these pictures but I guess they will have to do..

Remembering

I MISS HER! I miss our talks, I miss our emails, I miss her laugh and her unconditional love for everyone! Everyone told me that in due time I would not feel so guilty for never making more of an effort to get us together more, but time has been passing quickly and I still feel the same. As I watch life passing us by so quickly I can not help but feel sad that she is not here, I hate that she is missing everything. It's weird when I see things going on in others life I can't help but think how things would have been so different if she were still here. She gave me hope, and inspiration to get through each day! I have our last emails that we wrote to each other printed and put in my Bible. I haven't read them in a long time, but I like to know that they are there when I am ready to read them. It is hard to read them cause she was so sick and in so much pain! I know I shouldn't but I always ask myself, WHY? I wonder if there will ever be days that I will forget her?, I don't EVER want to forget!

WOULD YOU?

"We are not the Audience of God, We are the BODY!" This was my "AHHH HAAAA" moment! For years I have set back and been the audience, I have let people around me influence my decisions in the past on things that I should have just done and not even thought about. I got a call this week from a friend of mine, she is recovering from a drug problem along with her husband and they are trying to get custody of their kids back. They were in need, they are living with family that is not helping there situation at all, but that is all they have so they have to settle. She contacts me and tells me she has not ate all day and that her family she is staying with is hiding food from her and she has no money to go buy any food. She needs a place to live but because of the choices she has chosen to make she has a criminal background which is hurting there hunt for a place to live. So anyway she tells me everything that has been going on in her life over the last 6 months or so. Now keep in mind I have known this person for YEARS, I have watched her come in and out of drugs for YEARS. When I hung up the phone I quickly just started praying. I didn't know what to do in this situation I did not want to involve myself in a potentially bad situation but I knew I needed to help her out. I decided to ask a few people's opinion on the situation, with out giving any information as to who this person was I asked around to a few people and I was quickly told NOT to get involved....This ate away at me, I could not knowingly let someone be hungry...I contacted my friend and I heard nothing back from her, so the next day I decided that if I had no other communication with her then I would leave it alone. About mid day the next day I recieved a message from her telling me once again she was in need of food. I did not even think twice, I left work went to the grocery store and bought about $40 worth of food (the bare essentials) that would help her until she got some money in. I loaded it in my car and took it to her. I did this not because I am rich and have lots of money to spend on other people, not because I wanted to hold it over her head and wait for her to repay me the money, and certainly not because I wanted to let everyone know......but because it was the "RIGHT" thing to do. I am not the one who has to judge her. When I left her house she could have very well went and sold everything I purchased and got cash so she could have bought her next fix, Or she could have went inside and ate EVERY single thing I bought cause she was REALLY hungry... I may never know what she did and I don't care if I know what she did, I did what I felt led to do. I was not able to help out a whole lot but if I feel I was able to give her a hand up, not a hand out. She sent me a message the next day and told me that she had a GREAT lead on a place to live and she was going to check it out that day, but she also had the option to go to permanent drug rehabilition center that would give her continous help to keep her clean and have her kids with her. So regardless of what she chooses I can only pray that she stays clean, I may have been the only person who was willing to help her out and by that one quick choice I choose to do I may have very well given her the encouragement she needed to keep on living!
I was NOT the audience, I did not sit back and wait for someone else to "hopefully" help her I took the time and I just did it, I did not let ANYONE around me influence my decision I just did it. Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do in that situation but I did it. I was the "BODY"!

IT FILLS MY HEART!

If I am your friend and I know you inside and out, I know where you came from and I know what life you grew up in, then DO NOT for one second look down on me and think that you are better than me. You may think you have it all but I am here to tell you that you don't. Until you realize that Jesus Christ gave his life for you to live then you will always be lost! When I can lay down next to my husband each night knowing that after 10 years of ups and downs and going through what we have gone through I can still get butterflies in my stomach that fills my heart up. When I lay in the floor at night with my baby girls crawling all over me and giving me their sweet lil kisses that fills my heart. When I wake in the middle of the night and go watch them sleep so peacefully in their beds that feels my heart. God put me in this spot for a reason. He pulled us through each heart ache, through each town, through each dead end he was ALWAYS waiting to pick us up. There is not ONE doubt in my mind that he was not behind all of the paths in my life. You may make fun of me and talk about my life style to others but just know that I AM NOT ONE BIT ASHAMED OF BEING A CHRISTIAN!! I will raise my kids in a Christian home and teach them right from wrong. I will never be perfect but I will a Child of God and with that all things are possible.....even PERFECTION!

Happy 9 month Birthday!

It's hard to believe that 9 months have passed by so quickly, but I wanted to post this...look how ABSOLUTLEY BEAUTIFUL SHE IS!! Thank God for this wonderful gift!